What Is The “Building Family Relations” Initiative?

In BFR, we believe a family is a foundation for society and healthy family relationship are key to a thriving community, society and nation.

While all families go through good and difficult times, a family with healthy relationships is still able to interact with one another in a safe and respectful way.

FOUNDATION – SCRIPTURAL BASIS

The bible addresses all issues pertaining to Kingdom living, often using the family institution as a foundation. We have selected just but a few scriptures and encourage our audience to select and search for those pertaining to their specific issue. Building self-awareness and social awareness layer upon layer, is a journey of a life- time.

Children:

  • The Family Honor

    Exodus 20:12: Honour your father and your mother , that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

  • Spiritual Prophecy – A Call To All Of Us

    Malachi 4:5-6 NKJV – [5] Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. [6] And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

  • Family-founded Discipline

    Proverbs 1:8-9 My son , hear the instruction of thy father, And forsake not the law of thy mother. For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, And chains about thy neck.

    “Nyana wam , yiva uqeqesho lukayihlo, Ungawulahi umyalo kanyoko. Kuba ezo zinto zisisangqawe (isitsaba) esihle entlokweni yakho, Nezambalo (imixokelelwane) emqaleni wakho”.

Parents:

  • Biblical Family Model/Framework

    Ephesians 6:4 NKJV – [4] And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

  • Mother’s Comfort

    Isaiah 66: 12 NKJV – As one whom his mother comforts, So I will comfort you; And you shall be comforted in Jerusalem”.

HEALTHY FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS—WHAT ARE THEY?

Healthy family relationships help all members of a family feel safe and connected to one another. While all families go through good and difficult times, a family with healthy relationships is still able to interact with one another in a safe and respectful way. Positive interactions between family members outnumber difficult ones. In healthy family relationships, people are able to trust and rely on each other for support, love, affection and warmth. Families often share common goals and try to work together to reach those goals. For example, children may help their parents and carers to get the dinner dishes done so that everyone can relax or everyone in the family may do their own bit to help save some money and this contribute into family success.

Some things we have seen in families with healthy relationship and building positive individuals include:

  • Each person in the family is valued and respected.

  • Two-way communication exists.

  • Each family member makes an effort to understand and trust the other’s point of view.

  • Family members check in with each other, especially when making important decisions.
  • Adults share responsibility, where possible, financial, emotional, physical, for caring roles, etc.

Family Key Success Factors: At the core is the sense of belonging – IDENTITY.

One of the key human needs, after safety and security is love and connection that also affirms identity. Dr Anita Phillips explains the importance of belonging in her book The Garden Within as follows:

“…Loneliness triggers a survival response in our bodies because relationship is a biological need. We need oxygen, water, food and we need connection to survive”.

  1. Communication: Listening to each other and communicating with openness and honesty.
  2. Togetherness: Sharing similar values and beliefs that create a sense of belonging and bonding.
  3. Sharing of Activities: Spending time together doing things they enjoy (e.g., sports, reading, camping or playing games).
  4. Affection: Showing affection and care regularly through words, hugs, kisses and thoughtfulness.
  5. Support: Offering and asking for support, with family members knowing they will receive help, encouragement and reassurance from one another.
  6. Acceptance: Understanding, respecting and appreciating each family member’s unique qualities.
  7. Commitment: Seeing family wellbeing as a first priority and acting accordingly with commitment and loyalty.
  8. Resilience: Being able to tolerate difficulties and adapt to changing situations in positive ways.

Benefits of Health Family Relationships.

A lot of research has gone into the benefits of relationships to individual and society at large and we, at BFR identifies with the following individual one:

  • Help individuals cope with stress
  • Improve self-esteem
  • Increase well-being
  • Encourage people to engage in healthy behaviours
  • Provide social support
  • Create a foundation for healthy, trusting relationships with others
  • Allows people to feel secure and loved.

Strong family bonds often offer several benefits, like emotional support during challenging times, improved sense of belonging, increased happiness, and improved self-esteem, amongst others. Also, strong family bonds are a good breeding ground for the personal growth and development of each family member.

‘BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS’ INITIATIVE

It is against this background understanding that BFR, in line with our mandate of building families and grow beyond their perceived potential, will be hosting a roundtable discussion between mothers and daughter to engage with each other respectfully and honestly in order to re-build the relationship. There are few question that we wish will addressed through this roundtable conversations with a forward looking approach for a better future. We saw it fit to engage professionals to lead the engagement, with the view to address specific relationship dynamics within the family by setting the tone and assisting participants to work through the challenges, crystallise the positives and point them to the right resources to enhance the “roundtable” outcomes, especially with already strained relationships. Being parents themselves, they appreciate the family value, the parenting journey and understand children, especially adult children pressures fuelled by economic challenges in our country and despondency in our South African environment fully.

The Nguni proverb says “Akulahlwa mbeleko ngakufelwa” –loosely translated you don’t throw away the womb because you have miscarried . Meaning, never lose hope during a tragedy.

We also believe that whatever is broken can be mended through engaging conversations.

The BFR Roundtable discussions will provide a platform for the safe space and compassionate environment to talk about, feel and validate each other’s feeling without judgement and together working practical strategy to navigate and rebuild relationship even after these hard talk.

In the BFR roundtable meetings, the different focus groups will be challenged to:

  • Confront their conflict, see beyond the anger and disappointment and ‘arise & weather” the storms like eagles,
  • Identify their courage and strength to even get here, which is the 1st step in reconciliation,
  • Call on the wisdom that comes from their experiences on being without each other, overcoming all the obstacles, challenges and other mishaps experienced along the way,
  • Build on the positives and chart the way forward to a healthy relationship going forward.

Take a look at some of the conversations we facilitate.

Join in the conversation and become part of the solution.

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