This year I joined the ‘SASSA gang’ without benefits I might add. (But that is a story for another day)
At first I didn’t know what to do with this information because nothing changed. I mean the sun rose the same way on the 19th May 2024 … whilst my overthinking mind was still spinning dizzy. Not sure whether to celebrate or not. Anyway right on the first week of May, I took myself on a tour. A welcome distraction that pumped some life into me.
I came back to beautiful celebrations organised by a group of sisters – I mean the venue, food, the works – fabulous 👌🏽. BIG UP TO SISTERHOOD!
Noone has ever fussed over my life like they did. I fought very hard not to melt down, and thankfully this group knows me very well. They managed to turn this gathering into a beautiful storytelling round table. Something I have always dreamt about. You know those old-time family fellowships; with grannies telling fables and riddles, filled with laughter. I saw the light through them. They are my mentors now that the wheels have turned – if you know what I mean
The thing about organic mentorship, in this case through sisterhood, is that you supplement and complement each other at your strength authentically with no funny expectations, I mean we call each other out in a way that ‘mocks’ even the most seriously mean-looking adversity through laughter.
Anyway, I digress. Right after that, and before I could think, “so what is my next”.
A terrible tragic event hit home, and that aged my already agen self to the last degree. Without getting into details, that is where I saw that by the levels of my communal family — I am at the last level of leadership, think: Executive, C-suite level, except it is called matriarchy. I always felt sorry for my mom because of this role, it looked like so much burden and sometimes we were so ignorant to her complaints, uttering careless words like, must you be involved, “ubuyihoye ngantoni’, only because we looked at things from a selfish point of view, knowing that we have to fund some of her responsibilities or worry about her well being when she gets sick and weary thereafter.
Shame, sometimes she would catch herself saying outloud ‘nijonge kum – hayi kunzima ubamdala’. Hay ke sana, here am I going back to feeling sorry for myself. As the matriarchal demands reared their ugly head, one starts missing their mothers ‘ngoba ngoku kujongwe kuwe,’ and you have nowhere to look and pass the buck. Thank God I still have loving and present generous aunts, uncles, and siblings and I can’t imagine how life would be without their unwavering readily available support. Happy sniffles 💞🥲.
Fast-foward, meet me again, staggeringly and trying to brush myself out of this traumatic emotionally draining event. I had registered myself on an intervention called #The Adventure of Half-time #AOH.
Yimi lowa, busted and fatigued emotionally & physically drained, I dragged myself to attend this spiritually inspired intervention. Hosted in a beautiful environment surrounded by mountains, rivers, just my kind of environment for rejuvenation; Met very diverse people yet with common concerns and expectations.
We were taken through a process of reflection using contemplation exercises, challenging ourselves and trusting God for our Epic adventure. During that moment a desire for something bigger than myself emerged. My epic adventure was revealed, what started off as an overwhelm of my own family responsibilities transcended into an outcry of society (the way we relate with another), more specifically restoration of family relationships.
Something can be said about being in a matriarchal position that provides an aerial view of your family dynamics and all that goes with it. It could be scary at first, based on the foundations of the family you ascribe to. So here we are 3 months later with my sister and friend Lerato Makhatha, launching a platform for #Building Family Relations, starting with a Mother–Daughter Roundtable. An issue that was always surfacing every time we were sharing family responsibilities and politics – at times.
All I can say is: if it bothers you that much, maybe you can do something about it, even if it means planting a seed for future generations to harvest.
And if you wonder whether you heard from God, remember that at times. God’s voice is hidden in the desires of our hearts.
Psalms 37:4 — Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Watch this space family! My Happy is Full of Joy!
#BuildingFamilyRelationships
